http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-29658636Cleary the British State police hate Elvis lookalikes.
5 years in the slammer and all he did was shoot his wife. (ooops, thats a song).
Seriously though, what is it with the polices pathalogical hatred of Elvis?
Police locked down the village when he went missing following the domestic incident at his farmhouse.
really? Maybe they just hate farmers? also I dont understand how you can lock down a village when its already locked down by default by the national police states lockdown of what was ENGLAND.
police searched the farmhouse where they found a revolver and a shortened hammer shotgun, which were illegally owned and belonged to his father who served in the special forces.
Pherhaps his dad didn't care for all the controls and such as he remembered when sheep were sheep and they didnt vote every 4 years for Labour or Conservative?
A shortened hammer shotgun? Hope it wasn't the one in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, he's be kicking himself, it was worth a fortune.
PC Jones said, we here at the Cuntingshirefuckfuck Police station hate Elvis. As soon as we got an excuse we busted him at 3.30am after his misses complained about his chronic masterbation. We smashed down the doors and planted found all these rusty antiques that his dad had owned with really out of dat ammo that probably didnt work and decided to destroy his life by encarerating him for 5 years.
The farm, which was INSIDE THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND was not miles away or anything and was detonated by a controlled explosion just to be sure. Police also requested air strikes to deal with some suspicious sheep hiding in the hills but all the planes were busy murdering other people at the time so they had top leave that on file.
Police finished by saying
The problem of terrorist farmers has to stop. They walk around with guns like they own the land shooting endangered animals and scaring savvy voters, and called for an end to farming whatever that was and more studies into ways to automate all that digging and planting and stuff so as to reduce the risk of crazy farmers going insane because of all the voters wandering around like lunatics walking about on footpaths like they dont look really stupid and stuff.
